YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM TANZANIA

when:
you call it “BONGO”
you drive on the left side of the road
you think “winter” is a FREEZING 25 degrees!
you’re surprised the traffic lights and the car brake lights actually work (when you’re in another country, that is)
bana, you frequently use “bwana”, “basi”, “au sio”, “vipi” ” mambo, “Poa” in sentences, au sio (oya, it’s true basi)
Women use word “shosti” or “shostito” to call their best friends. You call swahili RnB “bongoflava”. You swear in Kiswahili e.g “k maninaa”!
You openly scratch your crotch (balls) males..
You think it’s common knowledge that women can’t drive. You’ve never owned a sweatshirt or a jacket in your life! for peeps who lives in the city Dar es salaam, Tanga & zanzibar..
your favourite food is chips mayai!
when you hear Kiswahili in another country, you get nyege
you call it nyetto, meaning..(u get horny!)
your best friend is either called hamisi, bakari, betty, juma, Asha, Fatma.(Fatuma)
you’re scared of white people (hahahaha i’m kidding!)
you’d be surprised if you were to get electricity EVERY DAY!
you call it SODA
when you drink soda from a bottle, not some fucking can
you don’t know what a can is
you call it BANGI (weed) BANGILEE!!
you smile when you hear KONYAGI ( Tanzanian famous drink)
you try to pay everyone off
when you ASK someone to pay YOU off (PLEASE)
you’re surprised that the dala dala is not the only form of public transport
you don’t know what the fuck a train is
you wish someone happy birthday a day earlier than you’re supposed to because there might not be electricity the next day
you don’t need to show ID to get into a club
you don’t have ID
your driver’s license is fake
you never took the driving test
the traffic police passed you on your driving test before you even took it
you later bought that traffic police a soda
you don’t bother voting in the elections because you already know who’s going to win
you know the president’s phone number
you can pronounce “ng’ombe”
you see a hot guy/girl, you take a photo of him/her with your brand new or second hand Nokia phone. LOL!!
also this COUNTRY is blessed with beautiful women who love gossip and are extremely jealous of each other..

by–Miss Zullie